nurse bullying, horizontal violence, vertical violence, incivility, disrespect

I was in the airport security line on my way to Dallas. They had two TSA agents scanning licenses and boarding passes. The woman behind me the entire time in line, ended up standing right next to me post TSA check. When the line in front of us started to move, although technically it was my turn, she started to move ahead. I looked at her and said, “Go ahead. I’m not in a hurry.” She then replied, “Thank you because I am. My flight leaves in 30 minutes.” Immediately I hollered to the people in front of me, asking them to “let this woman through so she doesn’t miss her flight.” They did and the woman got to the front of the line.
Whether she was telling the truth or not, I felt good. I felt like I did the right thing and helped her.
On my way back from Dallas I encountered one of the most inefficient check in processes ever! I was flying an airline that I don’t normally fly. There wasn’t a line to check your bag – just a bunch of kiosks in a circle without any way to “wait in line.” Several people were quicker than me and got an open kiosk before me even though I was technically before them.
Finally I got the bag tag and proceeded to the counter to drop off my bag. Again – no real line just a bunch of people waiting around.
I was annoyed.

Then, an agent opened a spot and called me over to the desk to take my bag. Great! I thought. But I couldn’t help to notice a woman who was standing close to me who technically was there before me. I KNEW that, but I went ahead of her anyway.
As I walked away, I couldn’t help but to feel bad. I KNEW she was in front of me yet I allowed the ticket agent to take me first.
I consider myself very considerate of others, respectful and kind. So how could I allow myself to be inconsiderate, disrespectful and mean?
Because as humans, we all have a DEVIL and ANGEL who sit on our shoulder at all times. AND, they are in a constant battle to win.
In the first situation – the ANGEL won. I was considerate of the woman and even helped her to get ahead of others – not just me.
In the second situation – the DEVIL won. I was inconsiderate of the woman and served myself.
I was really bothered by this and beat myself up a bit until I realized that all humans have good and bad in them. And, whomever you feed – wins.
1.   Stop looking for reasons to complain
The devil LOVES it when you find yourself looking for reasons to complain, i.e. inefficient check-in process, rude people who cut in front of me, etc. Why? Because thinking negative thoughts to the devil is like spinach to Popeye – the devil gets stronger!
2.   Compliment someone every day
The devil HATES compliments. Why? Because the devil is a jealous and greedy monster who wants everyone else to be fatter, uglier, less successful and have bad things happen to them. However, when you force yourself to compliment another human, you become less selfish. And, compliments feed your angel.
3.   Focus on the good
You get what you focus on. If you spend your time and energy looking for good things to happen, you’ll experience good things. My sister and I both travel a lot for our businesses. While my sister “sees” people being rude, inconsiderate and sometimes, obnoxious; I see the opposite – folks helping others get their bag out of the overhead space, allowing others to cut in front of them and even exchanging seats for some passengers to sit next to their loved ones.
You see what you expect to see (read this blog post). See good things and the angel will win.
Even though I consider myself very respectful and try to nurture the angel on my shoulder, every now and then the devil wins. I’m sure you can say the same thing. When that happens, don’t beat yourself up. Just know that while you let the devil win before, you won’t let the devil win the next time!!!
Thanks so much for reading my blog. I’d love to hear about YOUR strategies to starve the devil on your shoulder!

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